Anxiety. It can keep us alive, keep us responsible, keeps us from danger and keep our loved ones safe. However, it can also keep us on an emotional roller-coaster for long periods of time, get in the way of our day-to-day activities, and can easily get blown out of proportion to the actual facts of a situation.
Imagine with me for a moment that anxiety is an employee, and you are the CEO of a company. This employee keeps knocking on your door every hour telling you that something is wrong. Now, as the CEO how are you going to respond? How will you react to this employee?
Anxiety shows up because it believes that there is threat or danger approaching. But not every alarm bell from anxiety is based on the present moment's facts. It can sometimes be triggered by past memories and keep us in a state of hypervigilance, tension and fear. It's exhausting.
Am I Anxious?
Anxiety can manifest itself through faster and stronger heart beats, sweating, nauseau, diarrhea, dizziness, muscle tension, muscle trembling and a strong desire to get out of a situation. Anxiety can also keep us up at night over-analyzing situations, keep us from social gatherings, stripping us of energy, and making it very difficult to concentrate on the present moment.
On average, each of us has between 5,000-6,000 thoughts a day. That's a lot of thoughts, but (thankfully) most of these thoughts are not facts, just thoughts. When we experience anxiety it is very important that we begin to notice the thoughts that are attached to our anxiety.
When we begin to focus on the thoughts, we begin to create space from our thoughts. We no longer look from the lens of anxiety, but rather at our anxiety. This space allows us time to get curious about our thoughts. If a thought is, "everyone here thinks I'm boring", guaranteed that thought is fueling the anxiety.
So, as the CEO of the company with the anxious employee sounding the alarm bells, here are some questions you could ask:
Do I have control over this situation/thought?
Is it true?
Is there another way to look at this situation?
Can I take action on this thought?
Am I in danger?
Ways to Work With Your Anxiety
One exercise that can help to slow down our anxiety is to write down everything the anxious part of you is feeling and thinking. Allow that stream of consciousness onto the page and give attention to this part of you. This is not easy because most of us don't like to feel anxious so we often run from our anxiety, that's right, avoidance.
Once you've written down your anxious thoughts, begin to underline any words or sentences that are factual.
Next, on a clean sheet of paper, write down only the words/sentences that you underlined.
Looking at this sheet, reread it and notice how it impacts your anxiety. Does it feel reduced? Heightened?
This is one of many exercises that allows us to slow down our anxious part and refocus in on what is actually true.
Present moment vs Future Thinking
Often times anxiety can show up when we think of the future. The unknown is uncertain, unpredictable, and our brain loves predictability, stability and security. First it's important to validate your emotions. Even if you have to say it out loud, "I'm feeling anxious right now", go for it. This brings attention to the anxiety, and validates what is going on internally.
The more we think about the future, the more anxious we can become. It is so important to be able to catch yourself when future thinking and turn towards your present moment. I really like to think of my anxious thoughts as items on a conveyor belt that keep passing me by all day long. I have the ability to pick up that anxious thought and ruminate on it, but I can also acknowledge the thought, accept it and allow it to pass me by. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy provides great techniques for this concept.
Mind & Body Connection
Turning towards your anxiety is not a popular choice, but it is a powerful one. When you begin to direct your attention inward, you are inviting your mind and your body to work together to understand your anxiety better. Get curious about where you feel your anxiety in your body, imagine what it looks like, and notice the sensation your experience from it. Try to notice your anxiety with neutrality. No longer labeling anxiety as negative, but instead allowing yourself to see what could be going on inside of you, without feeling the need to fix or problem solve anything.
When you notice your anxiety in your chest, see if you can sit with this part, how close you can get, and keep noticing it. As you remain there with this part, it can morph into other feelings, or sensations if you allow it to. Curiosity is your best tool to gain understanding and clarity about why you are feeling the way you are. Often our anxiety is anchored to a core belief that we hold about ourselves, others or the world around us.
Grounding is Everything
Anxiety triggers our body's sympathetic system, which often activates either our fight or flight mode. But did you know that grounding techniques help to activate our parasympathetic system to calm down our body's nervous system?
The next time you experience anxiety, recall these words SLOW DOWN.
Take a deep breath. Feel your feet into the ground, become conscious of what you are sitting on. Allow yourself to sink deep into your chair, feeling your back, legs, arms continuing to sink. Notice what that feels like.
Next begin to notice what is around you, what is happening around you, what is happening inside and outside.
What do you hear? What different sounds can you identify?
Notice the smells as you inhale deeply. Do any of these smells hold memories for you?
Bring your attention to your taste. What can you taste in this moment? What thoughts are attached to your taste.
Notice how simple and slow you feel. Notice if your anxiety has shifted or changed at all. In this moment you are sitting in your adult chair, the curious observer, mindful state of being.
Anxiety can also be passed down through the generations. Our DNA can hold traces of our parents or grandparents trauma. It Didn't Start With You expands on this.
Anxiety thrives in the anticipation stage. Taking action has helped a lot in reducing the anxiety (if possible). Here are some other key ways to manage your anxiety:
Get into nature
Deep belly breathing
Faking a yawn
Massaging your temples
Healthy eating
Being social
Exercising daily - yes walking counts!
Scheduling joy activities into your day
Journaling how you feel
Creating a gratitude life
Listening to Classical Music
Click HERE for more ways!
Being able to notice our anxious thoughts is the first step. Here is a FREE RESOURCE on how to identify and manage anxious thoughts.
Space, Grace at your own Pace
Xo Unapologetically You
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