What is your Inner Child?
In essence, it is a younger version of you, a childlike aspect. Carl Jung made reference to a child archetype, where it could can carry wounds, unmet needs, unresolved feelings of fear, or it could be considered as a source of strength, hopes, and dreams. The inner child's experiences influence a large part of current adult life, and if they were negative, they can have a negative effect until you address the source of the wounds (Healthline, 2020).
What is Inner Child Work?
Inner Child Work is the practice of building a relationship with yourself by connecting with your inner child or inner children. As an adult you have the power, freedom, cognitive capacity, boundaries, tools and skills to begin this healing.
Being able to connect with a younger version of yourself will give you the opportunity to listen to what your inner child needs. By listening you will be able to communicate with them and let them know you are there for them. You can begin to heal their wounds, reframe their beliefs, and stand up for them. Meeting the inner child's needs will ultimately change your life.
How to Connect with Your Inner Child
Visualization:
You can begin by sitting down, getting comfortable and closing your eyes. You can place your hand over your hear if it feels right. By sitting in silence, begin to visualize what your inner child looks like. Begin to bring forth descriptions of their clothes, face, and surrounding environment.
Begin by introducing yourself to them, let them know your age and that you want to get to know them.
Ask your inner child how they are doing. Be aware of any biases that you might have in your head of what your inner child may need and really just listen.
By listening to your inner child you can begin to aware of thoughts or feelings that have been influenced by their experiences. You can begin to identify ways that you can validate their feelings, help to heal their pain, show love, and parent your child in whatever it is they bring up to you in conversation.
Connecting with your inner child will help you to heal your wounds, process your experiences and beliefs.
Warning: This work is not easy and can easily trigger and have dissociative effects on clients. If you have a history of trauma please work with a professional as you go through this healing process. This is a continuous type of work not a one time visit. Take breaks if you need to.
As a child you were dependent on your caretakers, but as an adult you have the ability to meet your needs. Build a relationship with yourself at different ages where you needed love, attention, validation, compassion and protection. You may have multiple inner children and that is okay.
Photo of You
Grab a picture of you when you were little and place it in a common spot that you will see on a daily basis.
Your laptop background image, or background image of your phone, or on your TV, or kitchen table.
Try and find a photo of you that is difficult to connect with (maybe in grade school, or the period when you had braces, etc).
Seeing a visualize of yourself can begin to bridge the gap and help you to connect easier with your inner child.
Write a letter to your inner child
On a piece of paper, begin by introducing yourself, share your age and that you are working on getting to know them better. Describe your feelings about your inner child, acknowledge what the inner child has experienced and lived through. Let them know they aren't alone and that you know what they are going through. Validate their experience and that you've felt what they have felt.
Make a promise to your inner children that you are there for them now. They don't have to be alone. That they can do the things they have always wanted to do - whether it be to have more responsibility, or meet with friends, to have fun, to laugh without reprimand, etc.
Include in your letter that you are making a commitment to build the relationship with them and that you will be showing up more often.
Sign, Much Love, Me
How to be a loving parent to your inner child
(sourced from Tiffany Rowe, 2020)
Listen to the needs of your inner child
Validate their feelings and experiences
Teach your inner child how to set boundaries, how to act, how to self-soothe, incorporate self-care strategies, practice breathing exercises, meditation etc.
"You must want to spend the rest of your life with yourself first"
Space, Grace & Beautiful Bridges
xo Unapologetically You
Sources: Healthline, 2020: https://www.healthline.com/health/inner-child>
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