7 ways to navigate holiday blues when things aren't the same as previous years.
This year you may have experienced enormous blessings, devastating losses, overwhelming experiences, or feel completely exhausted. As we get closer to the end of the year it is often so easy to feel like we need to be on auto-pilot in order to get through the next few weeks of mayhem.
'Tis the season, even though it's new
'Tis the season, even though we've gained
'Tis the season, even though we've lost
'Tis the season to focus on you
When the Holiday Blues Replace My Usual Excitement
Often our excitement is based on a historical experience or an expectation that we hold. A lot of you have experienced something new this year. Take some time to acknowledge that, a new promotion, a new baby, a new home, a new anything means that this year will be different. Is different okay? Or are we striving so badly to get back to 'a good Christmas'? A lot of us struggle with change, especially around the holidays when traditions equal predictability. Your lack of excitement isn't proof that you are depressed, but it could be an indication that expectations will need to change.
Take some time to reflect on new ways to create peace in your home. Look at what you have to work with and see if you can focus on what you have rather than what you don't have.
"Enjoy your life today, because yesterday has gone and tomorrow may never come.”
― Alan Coren
The Holiday Season Feels the Loneliest For Me
This is something that we might not like to admit to others, or even to ourself, but it can feel extremely lonely during the holidays. Loneliness can feel very heavy but also very familiar to us, and when it hits, it's important to be aware of what the loneliness is trying to accomplish.
Loneliness often is very protective and can tell us things such as 'you can only depend on yourself', 'no one has your back', 'you are not important'. These thoughts are extremely heavy and painful and can add to our behaviours of isolation, canceling plans and withdrawing from society.
If you have these thoughts and feel isolated this holiday season here are some things you can do:
1) Change up your environment
This will help you to recall that there is a world happening around you, it allows you to zoom out and take a step back from what you've been focused on at home. It is so healthy to recall that we often stay in the familiar even when it's keeping us stuck in our emotions.
2) Volunteer
This may be a one day commitment or a year commitment, but it allows you to meet others in your community and fill the void of loneliness. Find local volunteer opportunities at your local community centre, local church or online.
3) Journal
Journal - writing down your feelings allows you to get it out of your body. Once its on paper you have validated what you are going through and have left it somewhere safe.
4) Reach out for Support
If you are feeling extremely lonely and experiencing suicidal ideation, call 9-8-8 if you are in Canada. This is a mental health crisis line to provide support to you if you are feeling overwhelmed and hopeless. You can also reach out to a therapist to discuss the source of your loneliness and work through the healing together.
5) Practice Gratitude
Yes, this can feel hard, but it is challenging the thought that everything is hopeless. Consider what is something that you take for granted but is working for you, it could be your health, your environment, your neighbourhood, your bank account, your community, etc.
6) This is a Season
As cliché as this sounds, its true. This is a moment, and the loneliness will not last forever. Keep your eyes focused on today, rather than catastrophizing the future days ahead of you. Focus on what you have control over and work on being intentional with those. Practicing self-care, creating an environment that brings you peace and comfort, and feeding your body foods that help you feel balanced in your day are all components of self-care.
7) Start New Traditions
Look at what you've done in the past and see if you can find a creative way to do it differently, or completely new. If decorations are new for you, how can you decorate in a new way? Are Christmas markets your thing? Try seeking out free events in your area, host a Friends Christmas, start a Secret Santa or White Elephant exchange with friends.
I've Lost Someone Close to me This Year
If this is the case, then it truly has been a difficult year for you. You may feel like you're underwater, or on a conveyor belt, or that you are missing a piece of you. Grieving is a part of this life and it can feel very hard to pretend that everything's fine. The five stages of grieving (Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle) outlines what to expect as we move through our grief. There is no timeline with grief, and there is no shame in still grieving. How do we move through our grief towards peace and acceptance?
Begin with accepting the loss, even if this means saying it out loud to yourself. Allow yourself to sit in the pain of all the emotions that will show up, this allows you to hold space for these emotions rather than bottling them up. This can be a very hard stage for some, talking with a therapist or grief counsellor can help you to move through these emotions in a guided way. Adjusting to loss can be difficult but important to recognize that there is still a life to live. Try to find things that you are grateful for in your day. Connect with your world, your community, friends or family as you move through this time of grieving.
You are never meant to suffer in silence
If you are reading this and you want extra support or want to talk about how this year is harder Click Here to book a call with one of our therapist.
xo Unapologetically You
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